Finding Happiness and Identity with Dr. Erlin Kakkanad

The Pursuit of Happiness

Did you know that 34% of Americans say they are very happy? Happiness is often seen as an elusive goal, yet it's something we all strive for in our daily lives. In the latest episode of Coffee Can't Fix Everything, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Dr. Erlin Kakkanad an inspiring figure who has dedicated much of her career to understanding and promoting happiness and meaningful work.

A Journey of Cultural Identity

One of the key topics we explored was the complexity of cultural identity. Dr. Kakkanad shared a powerful moment from her life when her young son asked, "Mama, why am I brown?" This simple question sparked a profound realization and led her to write her first children's book. "When he asked me that question, I knew I didn't want him to live a life unauthentically," she reflected.

Her journey from India to Canada, and eventually to the United States, involved navigating the pressures of fitting into different cultural norms while staying true to herself. "Living outside of your authentic self is hard. It impacts happiness, it impacts well-being," Dr. Kakkanad explained.

Writing for a Purpose

In response to her son's curiosity, Dr. Kakkanad wrote two award-winning children's books, "Happy in Your Skin" and "I Love Curry and I’m Not Sorry." These books address the cultural curiosities of Asian Indian children and aim to help them understand and embrace their identities. "I realized that there was no literature to help tell the stories to a child of first immigrants," she said.

The Science of Happiness

Dr. Kakkanad's insights into happiness are rooted in her extensive research and personal experiences. She highlighted the importance of understanding happiness as a journey rather than a destination. "It's not about being happy, but being happier every day," she emphasized. She shared how we often fall into the trap of the hedonic treadmill, constantly chasing after material things that we believe will make us happy, only to find that the happiness is fleeting.

Instead, Dr. Kakkanad encourages focusing on three pillars: faith, friends, and family. "When you look at all the things you do in your day-to-day and the time you spend, if it does not align with serving any of these three components of your life, then it's just busy work," she advised.

Digital Detox and Finding Flow

We also discussed the impact of digital distractions on our mental health. Dr. Kakkanad shared her experience with a digital detox, emphasizing the benefits of disconnecting from technology to be present in the moment. "I put the phone down and turned it off. I sat outside by the fire with my family, listened to the wind, watched fireflies, and felt so refreshed," she recounted.

She also stressed the importance of finding flow in our work—those moments when we are so engrossed in a task that we lose track of time. "When people can find their flow, they often achieve better quality of work and higher engagement," she noted.

Conclusion

Our conversation was a deep dive into understanding happiness and cultural identity. Dr. Kakkanad's journey and insights provide valuable lessons for anyone striving to lead a more fulfilling and authentic life.

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Thank you for joining me on this journey. Let's continue these important conversations, one coffee cup at a time.

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